


You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having

by openended



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-27
Updated: 2011-05-27
Packaged: 2017-10-19 20:58:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/openended/pseuds/openended
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Miranda Bailey locks all of the interns (plus one victim of wrong-place-wrong-time Addison Montgomery) into a room with very little air circulation, there is discussion of the wisdom of hot coffee in a humid room, and plots to hijack ambulances.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having

**Author's Note:**

> This is what comes out of my brain after three days with a 100+ fever.

_Enter Bailey, because that’s what she does._

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Why are you all doing nothing?”

“Nothing’s happening.”

“Why aren’t you doing something?”

“No one’s sick.”

“But we are still, fundamentally, a life-saving-driven group of people?”

“Yes.”

“Then why are no lives being saved?”

“No one’s dying.”

“Why is no one dying?”

“The rate of flu-like symptoms throughout elementary schools has dropped drastically in the last two years.”

“Karev, you’re making that up.”

“Yes I am.”

“Could we make something happen?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this bored.”

“We could stage a knife fight downtown.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this hot.”

“Nah, they’d take ‘em to County. It’s closer.”

“We could hijack an ambulance and bring them here.”

“Take off your shirt.”

“Haha, no.”

“Can anyone drive an ambulance?”

“It’s like driving a car, but with sirens, right?”

“I can drive an ambulance.”

“Since when can you drive an ambulance?”

“It’s like driving a car. But with sirens.”

“Heels might be a problem.”

“I can drive barefoot if I get sirens and flashing lights.”

“How about playgrounds? We can lurk with band-aids.”

“Because that won’t look questionable.”

“Of course it’ll look questionable. You’re a questionable bunch of people. Do not stage fights, do not steal ambulances, do not stalk playgrounds, sit here and sit still and sit quiet until something happens. You hear me?”

 _a collection of **YES, DR. BAILEY**._

“Addison, you too.”

“Hey, I’m wearing Prada. You can’t look questionable in Prada.”

“You’ll look questionable wearing Prada while driving an ambulance barefoot. You don’t get to move either.”

“It’s also hot. Can we do something about that?”

“I am going to stare at the surgical board and think very hard about something happening. Until I page you, you do not move. Understand?”

 _a chorus of **YES MA’AM**. Exit Bailey, rolling eyes._

“You could take off your clothing.”

“Yeah, you could.”

“I said that already.”

“Okay, I’m leaving now.”

“Hey, Bailey said you had to stay, too.”

“I have to pay attention to that?”

“Izzie’s taking her clothes off.”

“I’m not taking off anything.”

“That’s a bad reason to stay, but okay.”

“Oh, come on, Iz. You did it for a living.”

“It is really hot.”

“Seriously? It’s like two hundred and four degrees in here. And I’m so not taking my clothes off.”

“And four?”

“Yes. And four.”

“Who the hell let you guys graduate med school?”

“A very nice man whose name I cannot remember right now.”

“I quit.”

 _Cristina gets up, gets coffee._

“It’s two hundred and four degrees in here in Izzie terms. Why are you getting coffee?”

“How many times a day do you quit, Montgomery?”

“I’m averaging four. But today I might hit twenty-seven.”

“It’s the only thing to drink in the room.”

“There’s a cafeteria, you know.”

“Hey. If I can’t move, you can’t move.”

 _Enter Mark, because why wouldn’t he?_

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“I heard something about hijacking ambulances and Addison driving them in heels. If that’s nothing, can I join?”

 _in unison **NO**_

“You are a mean group of people.”

“No we’re not. You just need to get to know us.”

“I’m leaving now. With my mental image permanently on Addison in...”

“Shut up.”

“I’m getting that a lot from women lately.”

“Ever think about listening?”

“What did you come in here for, anyway?”

“Stevens taking her clothes off and Addison driving an ambulance in heels.”

“Misogynistic pig.”

“Who wants in on a rhinoplasty?”

 _interns, in unison, hands raised, waving: **ME**_

“Sorry, I have no room for mean people in my OR.”

“Well, then I suppose you shouldn’t be in there either.”

“Any last digs before I leave?”

“Yeah, Mark. I’d like to say something about that absolutely horrific shirt you were wearing earlier today.”

“I hate you.”

“Well, thank God for that.”

 _Exit Mark._

“It is kind of hot in here...”

“Oh God, Meredith, not you too.”

“It is!”

“All of you, please leave your clothing on.”

“Even me?”

“Yes, Karev, even you.”

“We could prop the door open.”

“And play the Mission Impossible theme in our heads and squat down as we run out to hijack an ambulance and stage a knife fight on a playground.”

“Oh, because giving eight year-old boys sharp objects and an ‘Okay, go!’ sign is a good idea.”

“You got a better one?”

“I am so not hearing this.”

 _Enter Derek, for no real reason at all._

“Not hearing what?’

“Bad, bad plans to make something happen.”

“No, I really don’t.”

“Yang admits defeat?”

“You know the air conditioning works upstairs.”

“Bailey said I can’t move.”

“It’s not defeat. Give me a few minutes, my creativity doesn’t work that fast.”

“Why?’

“Because she said that she’d drive an ambulance barefoot if there were sirens and blinking lights involved.”

“Thank you, Dr. Grey.”

“Two minutes. Go.”

“That’s a great picture and an even better reason to keep you locked in a room with five bored and overheated interns. I’ll see all of you later, once you’ve melted.”

 _Exit Derek, because I don’t need him anymore for this._

“Don’t stare at me. I can’t think when you’re staring at me.”

“Everyone, stare at Yang. I want her to lose.”

“There’s a game going on?!”

“Yes, it’s to see how hot Izzie needs to get before she takes her shirt off.”

“I’m so leaving.”

“Nice try, Stevens. If I’m stuck here, you’re stuck here.”

“Or we could sneak out together while they’re all staring at Cristina and do the ambulance/playground thing ourselves and leave them all out of the loop.”

“I like that idea.”

“Can I get in?”

“George, you have to help stare at Cristina. Two people isn’t going to do anything to her.”

 _Enter Burke, because clearly I need all the attendings to show up._

“Why are all of you staring at Dr. Yang?”

“I’m not staring at her.”

“Neither am I.”

“I’m supposed to be, but I’m not.”

“To get her to lose.”

“Lose what?”

“It’s a long story, Preston, you don’t want to know.”

“Burke, help me out here. I need a better idea to get something to happen.”

“Than what?”

“Staging a knife fight in a hijacked ambulance to hand out band-aids in a playground.”

“You so fail, that wasn’t it at all.”

“I told you you didn’t want to know.”

“If that’s the wrong version, I’m taking Dr. Montgomery’s advice and leaving before I find out the real one. And need to report you all to the Chief for conspiracy.”

 _Exit Burke, raised eyebrow and suppressing a grin._

“Why is it so...”

 _in unison: **SHUT UP, IZZIE.**_

“No, it is. You can’t tell me the rest of you aren’t hot?”

“We are. We just aren’t complaining about it.”

“You’re the one whining about being bored.”

“I don’t care if I have to swallow it with hot coffee, is there aspirin anywhere in this room?”

“Aw, is it that time of the...”

“Shut up, Karev. This is giving me a headache.”

“Are you sure it isn’t the heat?”

“Oh, please, God, if you exist. I know I will go to hell for this…”

“You’re Jewish.”

“That’s not the point. I know I will go to hell for this but please, make something happen. Make people sick, hurt, injured, whatever.”

“And you’ll save them. So, you won’t go to hell.”

“I’m Jewish.”

“We’ve established that.”

 _Enter Bailey, looking a combination of frustrated, amused and frantic._

“Alright, all of you, up. We have three ambulances incoming.”

“What happened?”

“Knife fight downtown and something about an elementary school playground.”

 _Confused and entertained look passes between interns and Addison._

“What are you waiting for? GO.”

 _With a chorus of **YES, MA’AM** and **YES, DR. BAILEY** , exit ALL._   



End file.
